◊ one for human and jers pls
lavendercurrents

Jamie,

I have taken your favorite pair of shoes hostage.  I demand one (1) meal tomorrow and perhaps some cake.  Attached is a photo of the shoes to show I mean business.

-E(a)rL ((His name is signed in newspaper clippings))

((She’ll find a photo of a pair of her shoes tied up with rope on a chair))

________________________________________________

Jamie (non-nation),

I understand you must be busy so I left a few things for you before I could say hello.  I hope things are going well for you and the little one.  Conan says hello.

-Earl

((Inside is just a small gift basket of fresh fruit))

fortroughs said: … [he frowns at the question, holding it up to the light] … ….earl! earl — i don’t get it!

It’s a riddle.  It’s suppose to make you think.  Don’t take it so… literally.

fromthirteencolonies:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

… Knew me better how?  -Earl gave him a suspicious look-  

I think I wouldn’t feel so threatened if it didn’t look like I could snap their neck in half with a well aimed kick.  Or bat.  -Earl put up both hands before Al could respond-  Not that I would even do a thing like that. I would rather run first but there is a reason they do turn up on dinner tables.

Well at least you face your fear every day.  -Smiles-

-raises an eyebrow- …As a friend? Because I barely know anything about you, outside of the fact that you write, you’re a little weird, and really hate the cold weather? 

What did you think I meant?

image

It does sound easy, I’ll admit, but saying it and doing it are two different things. They’re real fast, and kind of intimidating. Especially when you’re being chased by a flock of them. Eugh.

I don’t know if I’d call it ‘facing my fear’ when the worst thing Cauliflower does is poke at my side when she’s hungry.

-Earl still looks suspicious, but he gives a small shrug-  What else do you want to know then?  Opinions?  Likes?  There’s really nothing interesting about me, I can assure you.

I’ve seen the news with these scandals about the CIA.

Wait a moment.  On one side you’re telling me how evil and vicious these things are and on the other you have a pet goose that acts more like a cat than a demon from the darkness of hell.

You’re not making a very big case for this fear of yours.

fortroughs

Peter. 

Out of boredom I’ve hidden a stash of candy.  It’s your job to follow the clues and seek out the chest.  You have until this evening before I restart the game.

-Earl

1.  What do you have that loses its head in the morning and gets it back at night?

◊ hella
agrandoldoll

Okay.

You win the drinking contest.

Cheater.

-Earl

PS Next time refrain from being so… distractive next time.

handsofftheharley

Broke into the apartment.

Stole a pair of your dirty pants.

Also a beer.

-Old Roommate

hopewithwanderlust

Sorry I broke into your home.  Drank too much last night.  I’ll replace the toaster.  Might want to call a plumber.

Best Regards

The asshole who broke your toilet.

forourrepublic

GONE OUT FOR CHEMICALS AND A BIGGER KNIFE.

DO NOT OPEN THE OVEN.

-EARL

becausewitisawonderfulthing:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

Unfortunate is a word one can use in this situation.  -He gives a small nod- You could also get a weapon of some sort as well.

Even if you never use it, it may be of comfort.

Hm..true. Perhaps a small one. Not terribly intrusive. 

I’ll probably seek out the lessons first though.

Thanks for the suggestion.

I suggest a sword.

Put a “◊” in my ask for a sticky note left on your fridge in the morning by my muse.

(Source: flamingnatsu-metalicerza)

lavendercurrents:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

-Earl watches her with a smile before following her.  There’s no graceful spin for him, just a simple stride, arms at his side-

I’m honored to be that person.

-Earl nodded as he listened, a frown tugging at the corner of his mouth-  I think… you’re thinking much too broadly.  Certainly if you compare yourself to the UK or even Canada, Jersey will seem like nothing.  However, if you ask that of every person who grew up on your land, worked it, lived on it, died on it… I think they’re notice.

You’re an important part of people’s lives.  Without you, they wouldn’t be where they are today.  This is just an opinion of a simple human though.

{Earl- esque}

{That comment might have cause a slither of pain to go through her, but she hesitates to nod}

… {Silently picks at her fingers}
Sometimes a human’s opinion is more valuable to me.
Earl, some of these nations are so depressing. 
… I just… Feel pathetic compared to others. But I guess not everyone is meant to be part of the big picture.

I do appreciate that.  I’m glad you’re willing to listen to my humble advice.  -Earl gives her a side smile, half encouraging-

Hmm… -Earl takes a moment to think, walking in comfortable (at least to him) silence for a few minutes-   To be a nation seems like an impossible task.  I could never even imagine the work, stress, blood, sweat, and god knows what else that’s involved in it.  It does seem like a depressing job… politics alone would kill me.  No matter how small the nation or how weak, it takes a strong sort to work with that.

Though if it makes you feel better, you never know what the future may hold.  Nations rise and fall.  Perhaps in a few centuries, you’ll be one of the superpowers, carving out your own empire and making many enemies.  It’s not impossible and has happened in history more than once.

fromthirteencolonies:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

You certainly sound disgruntled.  I thought you might appreciate winter’s one last attempt to give you a bit of fun.Or last attempt that we know of thus far.  Could snow in May at this rate.

image

I would comment on how silly you’re being, but honestly that sounds like a lovely way to spend the day.

I sound disgruntled because I am disgruntled. I’d appreciate the extra snow if it was, y’know, not the middle of April. Also there’s the fact that I’ve had enough snow to last me for two years.

I’m ready for short sleeves now. I even put away all my bulky winter stuff last weekend. I’m so ready for it to not be winter you don’t even know.

image

Good. I’m glad you agree.

From what I learned in America, weather tends to be a very unpredictable thing.  Snow in spring, rain in winter, hot one day cold the next… Hail, tornadoes, tropical storms… Honestly I’m surprised you’re making a big deal about it.  Are you not use to this sort of mishmash?

Time to bring out the quilt then.  Save on those heating bills once more.

Why wouldn’t I?  Isolation is wonderful.

((Goodnight all!))

Staring at the newest game of thrones. No one mess with her.
ienjoybeinganenglishgirl

ienjoybeinganenglishgirl:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

-Trying to resist the urge to mess with her-

"I’m British Earl, everyone always dies." 

"Hello British, I’m a human."

"Then you wouldn’t mind if I spoiled who died."

Staring at the newest game of thrones. No one mess with her.
ienjoybeinganenglishgirl

ienjoybeinganenglishgirl:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

ienjoybeinganenglishgirl:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

-Trying to resist the urge to mess with her-

-not looking up she responds to him- You reveal one spoiler and I’ll kick you where it counts.

You didn’t read the books, did you?

I did, just not this one. -she said, holding up the book she was involved in- I refuse to watch anymore till I’m caught up with the author, though I know they’re decades behind.

Spoiler:  Everyone dies.