ravenshadows08:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

ravenshadows08:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

ravenshadows08 said: "well you must be king midas because your words are dripping with gold."

"Nice one. I’ll save that one for later."

"You’re a dork. So why are you using pick up lines on people? Just curious if they’ll work or are you looking for a laugh?" 

"To see other people’s reactions.  I got slapped at least once so far but two phone numbers.  I think one of them is fake."

"You should have read it back to them saying one of the numbers wrong or asking them if that was a seven or a one. If they correct you its real if not then its certainly a fake." She rested her chin on a hand. "So was it a man or woman that slapped you? My guess is a woman." 

"She was quite a lovely bird, though.  Wouldn’t surprise me if she memorized both just to make it easier on herself.  I would if that was the case."

"Right again.  Men would rather just awkwardly inch away or punch you in the gut."  He grinned.  "Fun times.  What are you doing here, by the way?"

fromthirteencolonies:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

image

-Hanging out at the bar throwing cheesy pick up lines to people just for fun-

You are astoundingly gorgeous and that’s the least interesting thing about you.  Mind if buy you a drink?

image

-he just came here to get out of the house and honestly what even is this-

I don’t see myself as being that pretty but thank you anyway.

If you’re looking for the girl who was sitting here, she left a while ago.

"Oh come now.  You sell yourself much too short.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and right now you fill my eyes with stars."  He’s very much amused right now.  

"I know.  I got her number.  However, I would very much love to get you a drink."  

ravenshadows08:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

ravenshadows08 said: "well you must be king midas because your words are dripping with gold."

"Nice one. I’ll save that one for later."

"You’re a dork. So why are you using pick up lines on people? Just curious if they’ll work or are you looking for a laugh?" 

"To see other people’s reactions.  I got slapped at least once so far but two phone numbers.  I think one of them is fake."

Thievery, Assault.
ravenshadows08

image

Victim, witness, and guilty.  

ravenshadows08 said: "well you must be king midas because your words are dripping with gold."

"Nice one. I’ll save that one for later."

Name a type of crime and my muse will admit if they’ve ever been a victim of it, witnessed it, or committed it.

(Source: jenniferjareaufbi)

ask-fem-philippinas:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

ask-fem-philippinas:

"I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit" she countered

"And I don’t think you’re taking enough.  But please, we could be going back and forth all day about this.  You mentioned a beach?"

"Anything to escape the heat honestly"

"… Wouldn’t the beach be hot?"

nobilityoftheearlgrey:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

-Free food will always be the ticket into Earl’s heart-

Rarely, I’m sure.  Why walk when you can drive in one of your many sports cars?

Not particularity.  I might just have what you’re having. See if you truly do have good taste.

Not many blokes I’m with really fancy being in a car, and I do like discovering new shops.

*Hopefully Earl has the same sweet tooth as he does.* Are you sure? You’re in line with me.

-Was that directed at him or others?-  Despite how high and mighty you might seem, all you really want to do is explore and find new things.

-When it comes to treats and baked goods?  YES-  Your choice with be the very thing that will define my opinion about you from now on.  No pressure.

She heard the loud thud accompanied by a happy excited bark. Peeking around the corner she saw Earl sitting on the floor with Otis happily trying to jump up on him licking his face. "Otis, no. We don't jump on people. Psst. That's not your dad. Go lay down." She pointed away from Earl indicating for the dog to move. Otis just happily wagged his tail. "Sorry Earl, he thinks he's a puppy."
ravenshadows08

"It’s fine!"  Earl laughed, trying to shove the dog’s head out of his face.  He’s use to this with his own little white dog.  He just didn’t expect to be barreled over.  "It really is.  Fellow is just a little excited, that’s all."

"Come now, down boy.  I don’t need to be crushed today."    

-Hanging out at the bar throwing cheesy pick up lines to people just for fun-

You are astoundingly gorgeous and that’s the least interesting thing about you.  Mind if buy you a drink?

ask-fem-philippinas:

"I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit" she countered

"And I don’t think you’re taking enough.  But please, we could be going back and forth all day about this.  You mentioned a beach?"

(Source: earlgreywithcomplaints)

ask-fem-philippinas:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

ask-fem-philippinas:

"Oh is this how you want to stage this situation?" She asked incredulously, "you’re showing me interesting cards Kirkland"

"So I suppose the answer is yes?"  Earl asked arching an eyebrow.  "Not being exactly subtle about it, but how could I really refuse you?"

"And please, call me Earl."

"You’re quite the smooth talker Earl~" she smiled coyly

"My words are nothing in light of yours.  Much like comparing the sun to a candle."

hopewithwanderlust:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

.image

"I thought you wanted some ice tea.  Ah well, whatever you wish."  

image

"Anything cold would be nice at the moment." She got up and went into his kitchen and came back out with a glass of water.

"Enjoy it as you see fit.  I would have offered tea but… well you seemed against the idea."

"How have you been?"

((Night yo))

fromthirteencolonies:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

 “That’s the thing.  I don’t know the kind of person you are.”  Blunt and to the point.  “For all I know, this kindness is just an act.  You are a nation, at least on the inside, and well I can’t believe you’re just all smiles and polite conversation.”  There was always a dark side to every nation, government, people.  Sometimes several.  History was never clean, especially for a superpower.  “Besides, I don’t know the type of home you live in besides ‘probably bigger than mine.’”

He tensed as Alfred really gave the experiment angle some thought.  If it was something of that sort, then it could probably be reversed, right?  At the very least there was someone they could seek out revenge on.  He quickly deflated when the other refuted the idea, though.  “Would have been a lot simpler.  Besides, it didn’t have to be on purpose.  Equipment they were transporting or working on, a signal sent out from a distant point that just… synced with us, perhaps aliens working with them.  Honestly it’s more logical than magic.”

With no dog to stop him and no government conspiracy to think on, Earl started pacing once more.  He felt a bit trapped and stressed, not to mention this body was brimming with energy. 

“Or drugs.”  That Earl could agree with if they both knew it wasn’t dead wrong.  “Or a drink.  Oh god, that would be nice right now.  Hm?  If you think we’re dreaming, let me slap you.  We’ll see then.”  There might have been a bit of a dark chuckle with that.

“…”

“Well there’s no use standing around talking about it.  Let me gather my things and we’ll go to your place.  Do you think Conan would get along with your creatures?”

That comment earned Earl a pointed look. An act? Surely he couldn’t believe that everything he was saying was just an act. Wasn’t it possible for a nation to be nice for the sake of being nice? Maybe not in Earl’s opinion. And it wasn’t as if his theory wasn’t solidly grounded, either. It was true that Alfred had on multiple occasions done something like that.

But, really, there just wasn’t a good enough reason for him to be manipulative in this situation. Not while stuck in Earl’s body, at least.

"You’re right. I’m not all smiles and polite conversation." He said, crossing his arms. "I’m sure if I really wanted to I could ‘Mr. Nice Guy’ my way into doing whatever I wanted to you. But, not going to lie, I don’t see any reason why I’d need to put on some fake happy act in front of you." A shrug with a smirk. Was he just messing with Earl, or was he being serious? "It’s not like I can swindle land, or power, or money, or….anything from you. So why bother with some big production, right?"

Not like he’d do that at all, no, of course not. He wasn’t that way anymore. Probably. But that was enough about that. 

"Two floors and a basement, three bed, two bath. Definitely bigger than your place." Alfred made his way to the door, items in hand. "So long as Conan doesn’t mind other dogs, I’m sure it’ll work out fine. Scooter and Elie are real chill and the puppy doesn’t care one way or the other. Cauliflower might be a problem but I can always just put her outside during the day."

As he opened the door, he paused and turned back to look at Earl. “…Should I load up your dog and his stuff on my way out?”

Earl will take that pointed look and just give him a neutral expression.  The question was why did Alfred naturally assume that Earl would simply trust him so easily?  Bodies have swapped but minds have stayed the same.  

No good reason that one could see yet.  …  Ah wait.  Make that one possible reason.  Earl filed away the idea to muse over later when he had time to think.

"I would certainly hope not."  Earl replied simply.  God, that very thought gave him the creeps.  "What?  Excuse me?!”  Earl jerked his head in Alfred’s direction, indigent  and now obviously on guard.  Did he imply what he thought he did?  Mr. Nice-Guy himself into doing… Bloody hell who does this bloke think he was?!  Mr. America himself? (Ha ha.)  ”You could swindle MOST anything from me, yes.  You have the power and connections to do so.  Perhaps even my body.”  There was a quick accusatory glare.  ”But other than that, the only thing left of any little worth would be my life and I’m sure you wouldn’t want that.”

Taking a few breaths to calm down, he turned away and walked into the kitchen.  If Conan was coming he would need to pack for him.  Bed, food, toys, and a few other essentials would do the trick.  He let Alfred’s words wash over him, knowing full well that despite his worries and paranoia induced suspicions, he still had no better option. 

So it was best to play nice.

Hooking the fluff ball to the leach he grabbed what he needed under one arm, thank god for this strength, and gave a quick shrug.  ”I’ve got it.  You’re not going to be able to carry all that in one trip.”

"…  Need help with that bag?"