handsofftheharley:

So if Earl wore a dress…

punkthur would comment on how nice that colour looks on him

Like puddy in his hands… PERFECT.

britannianking:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

Oh I don’t believe that’s true! You have so much potential.  The higher someone sets themselves up, the farther they have when they fall.

-Snickers-

I’m sure you are.

-Sighs and rolls eyes-

You know, if I had a dollar for everytime I’ve ever heard that, I’d be rich.

-He chuckles with a shrug- I’d personally prefer a quid but it’s your choice. 

When someone is acting like that, it’s not surprising.  I’ve seen it so many times that if I had a… I’m sure you already know the rest.

So don’t mind if I have a bit of fun this time.

fromthirteencolonies:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

fromthirteencolonies:

Can’t stop, won’t stop.

image

C’mon, man. Tell me what happened! I promise not to laugh.

Please stop?

image

Only if you swear not to repeat what I will say to others.  I may not have much, but I’m quite protective of my pride.

Is it really bothering you that much?

image

I promise. Pinky swear, even.

I don’t even have a reason to go and spread dirt on you so there’s really nothing to worry about.

I know that smile and the reason behind it.

It never hurts to have a little dirt on someone just in case.  You might never use it but it’ll always be an option.

If you truly want to know…

I’ve been following this series for a while now.  Perhaps over a year.  There are two characters that have had this wonderful dynamic nearly since the start.  Their personalities just work so well with each other and there has been so much bloody foreshadowing that it should be canon right now.  

The latest installment has dashed any chance of those two finally being together.

I feel the death of potential and it sickens me.

Story Book AU

lavendercurrents:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

Behind closed eyes, Earl was dreaming of dripping blood and murders in the dark.  A hand reached out, familiar in his mind, and all he could do was watch, frozen in his dream.  Before it could take hold, something jostled his arm and woke him from his paralyzed slumber.  His arm flailing out, he managed to tip his chair and fall to the floor.

Groaning, he rubbed his face.  It’s honestly not the first time he woke like that.  ”Fuck.”  Dream fading, he glanced bleary eyed at Janie and then on a blood spot he missed last night.  ”Fuck me sideways.”  He was dirty, starving, and exhausted when the day had only just begun.

"Did the back up finish?"  Earl asked from the ground as he pushed himself into a sitting position.  That was obviously the most important thing to concentrate on.  If Janie looked, his laptop had indeed finished the back up onto the external, humming along next to it.  In fact, it seemed like the laptop was working fine, despite fleck of dried red here and there between the keys.

The first comments out his mouth were vulgar, yet understandable. She quirked her brow, hesitating to open her lips.

Before she could speak, he was talking about some back up. The woman shook her head in confusion, furrowing her brows. Then, she slowly reached out her hand, holding the jewel before him. 

"What is this?"

"Mh?"  Earl looked up and held out a hand for the jewel.  If she gave it to him, he would look over it in his hands and if not, he would just stare at it from the floor.  Either way, he would pick himself up and go to his laptop once more to make sure that it indeed had backed up his information (And given the jewel back to her if he had it).

"Looks expensive, that’s what.  Is it yours?"  It was familiar, actually.  Almost in the same way Janie was familiar.  "Ah… everything looks fine."  A breath he didn’t know he was holding in released with a sigh, his head falling in relief.  "Thank god.  I don’t know what I would have…"  Finally his attention was fully on her now that his precious was safe.  "Why did you show me that?"

britannianking:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

Be glad.  You’ve made someone smile today and all it took was a little bit of your dignity.

-Picture number two-

Wonderfully mature as well.  You’re someone I strive to be.

That’s the first time and the only time.

-Rolls eyes-

I’m sure.

Oh I don’t believe that’s true! You have so much potential.  The higher someone sets themselves up, the farther they have when they fall.

-Snickers-

I’m sure you are.

((NIGHT))

britannianking:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

-Takes a picture of it-

Oh certainly.  But this amuses me.

-Huffs-

Of course it does.

-Sticks tongue out slightly-

Be glad.  You’ve made someone smile today and all it took was a little bit of your dignity.

-Picture number two-

Wonderfully mature as well.  You’re someone I strive to be.

fromthirteencolonies:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

fromthirteencolonies:

That so? You do realize that you’ve only got me even more interested in what happened, right.

image

Did you run inside the manliest building in town and slip on an ice cube?

image

Stop smiling.  I don’t like that smile.

I did nothing of that sort.  Honestly that sounds dignified in comparison.

Can’t stop, won’t stop.

image

C’mon, man. Tell me what happened! I promise not to laugh.

Please stop?

Only if you swear not to repeat what I will say to others.  I may not have much, but I’m quite protective of my pride.

britannianking:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

I apologize.  You sounded so horribly silly that I just had to respond.

-Makes a face-

Don’t you have anything better to do—

-Takes a picture of it-

Oh certainly.  But this amuses me.

britannianking:

earlgreywithcomplaints said: -Holds breath and winks-

image

Clever.

I apologize.  You sounded so horribly silly that I just had to respond.

fromthirteencolonies:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

fromthirteencolonies:

Oh, I see. I recommend only doing that on couches that are in decent shape or you’ll totally ruin your back.

-says the one who falls asleep on the old couch in the living room all the time-

image

What happened?

I enjoy the ones with the curve in it or the broken supports.  It shapes your spine in just the right way so it’s no longer straight.

-Earl has slept on more couches then beds at this point in his life.  he’s got this-

image

I can’t really say.  It’s something incredibly stupid and I know others would just get a chuckle out of it.  

That so? You do realize that you’ve only got me even more interested in what happened, right.

image

Did you run inside the manliest building in town and slip on an ice cube?

Stop smiling.  I don’t like that smile.

I did nothing of that sort.  Honestly that sounds dignified in comparison.

fromthirteencolonies:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

fromthirteencolonies said: Looks like someone fell out of bed this morning, huh?

More like woke up on the couch but that’s not important.  

Oh, I see. I recommend only doing that on couches that are in decent shape or you’ll totally ruin your back.

-says the one who falls asleep on the old couch in the living room all the time-

image

What happened?

I enjoy the ones with the curve in it or the broken supports.  It shapes your spine in just the right way so it’s no longer straight.

-Earl has slept on more couches then beds at this point in his life.  he’s got this-

I can’t really say.  It’s something incredibly stupid and I know others would just get a chuckle out of it.  

ravenshadows08:

earlgreywithcomplaints:

image

-And if you look on your left, you’ll see a fuming Englishman-

She hasn’t seen him in a while so she has no idea what might have him so upset so she’s just going to give him a silent concerned look. She wants to know whats wrong but doesn’t wish to upset him further, if he doesn’t want to talk about it. But the look on her face should clearly say what she’s thinking. 

Earl is going to look up and just stare at her, annoyance boiling in his eyes but not directed at her.

He shakes his head no.  It’s nothing to be concerned about.

fromthirteencolonies:

You bet it’s my favorite. Apple pie is the best! Especially when it’s freshly made and steaming hot with a scoop of vanilla ice cream!

I see someone’s looking for ways to get his hands on more free food? -smiles- If you’re ever around when I’m cooking something, you’re more than welcome to come in and try it, you know. The offer’s open to everyone. I really don’t mind sharing food! And uh—Well, usually I just do whatever I’m feeling at the moment. Just random, spontaneous dancing. I know a few dances by heart but they’re all a little…old fashioned.

Is that right? Must feel nice to be able to do what you love doing. Can’t say I’m not jealous of you! -laughs- It’s funny how you’re like a slightly more diabolical version of Arthur, sewing and everything.

Biggest pet peeve…hm. Seems like most the world is convinced that I’m a complete idiot on some level. Probably because a lot of Americans say incredibly stupid things. But I’d like to think that I’m pretty smart! I’ve studied a lot over the years and while I’m no genius I’m certainly no idiot! I don’t know why everyone’s so quick to assume that. And my biggest fault… -he actually has to think about this one- -not because coming up with a fault is hard there are plenty of faults- -but which one is the worst-

image

…Some people know exactly what they’re about. Everyone’s so wise and knowledgeable, they’ve had an eternity to figure stuff out. Me? I thought I knew what I was all about once but now I’m not so sure. I’ve finally made it to the real world and it feels like I’m just fumbling around in the dark most the time. That’s my biggest flaw, I think. I know who Alfred Jones is, but who’s America?

And what do I admire most about myself? Hm. I like to think I’m really good at seeing the potential in people when they themselves don’t see it. I like to give everyone a chance because, deep down, I honestly think everyone is a good, interesting person worth knowing.

Your turn.

Hmm… it’s not bad.  Not really filling though.

I’m a horrible scavenger.  Really, it’s how I’ve managed to survive so long without dying.  -He gives the other a grin- You really shouldn’t make offers like that.  Who knows when you’ll have to hold your word.  But I shall keep that in mind.  …  Oh now you have to show me a dance move or two.  -He’s quite serious about that-  After all, what are some old American dances?  I know there’s swing.

It’s nice when it’s not a struggle.  I don’t think I could ever really do an office type job.  It would strangle my soul and I think I would soon join it on the rope.  -He pauses before holding a hand up-  Not literally but you understand what I mean.  What?  Me?  Diabolical?  Hardly.  I’m as innocent as they come.  -He has prepared an innocent expression to go with it as well- As for sewing… well either you learned to fix your own clothes or go without.  I can’t imagine anyone thinking it’s a useless skill.

Do you think everyone knows exactly what they’re about and are not faking it with everything they have?  It’s a rare man or woman I find that knows and even then the world turns and they have to learn all over again.  Do you have to know who America is?

You truly are kind-hearted.

As for me… -He knew he was going to get these questions back but it was worth it for Al’s answers-  My pet peeve is when others are too pigheaded to even consider a second side to a situation.  Stubborn in their thoughts, they refuse to listen to anyone with a different opinion, no matter how well the arguments may be.  It’s very much like bashing your head on a brick wall.

Not to mention those that take neural discussions personal.  But I digress…

A flaw…  -Earl takes a moment to think about this one, trying to pick the best one to present-  I’m a horrible hypocrite, I suppose.  I have a habit of giving out advice when the need arises and yet I can’t take any back.  -Earl chuckles-  It’s actually quite terrible.  I always think myself the exception to the rule and even when I realize it, I can’t turn away from that sort of mindset.

-What he admires is actually the harder of the three-  No matter what life has thrown at me, I haven’t died yet.  -A small nod to himself-  I can be flexible when I need to, stand my ground if I must, and I know when to run.  In a sense, I admire the fact I’ve survived so long.

(Source: earlgreywithcomplaints)

fromthirteencolonies said: looks like someone fell out of bed this morning, huh?

More like woke up on the couch but that’s not important.